grateful im in pain.

mixed media on canvas.

50x70 cm

2025

-resisting for a childhood and creating one in it;

a childhood by all means necessary.

mixed media on canvas

50x70 cm

2025

-seeking a "light" that lasts a few seconds,

one after the other. 

and i ask myself where the sun at?

why did the sun leave me alone?

but i only looked inside and found lights that blinded me

i had all my doors closed, all my windows shut.

if i had looked outside, i would have seen

that the sun been out.

mixed media on canvas

50x70 cm

2025

-a pain that flourish with joy

the joy that hurts and burns;

all are flowers from the same source

only picked together as a whole,

inseparable-no pick and choose.

mixed media on canvas

80x60 cm

2025

-the happiness i lived for

is the happiness that killed me.

it was fun while it lasted,

but was it worth dying for?

was happiness always the trap?

or should have i been more careful?

or should have i sat in my pain, and been more grateful?

happiness is the thief of joy-

and joy is mainly painful.

mixed media on canvas.

60x60 cm

2025

-painfully waiting in the dark

in the dark where God works

God's works, where its not felt or seen

and time will reveal

so wait

wait gratefully

gratefully in pain.